Erection ( Every Man Should See )

When a man is sexually stimulated by sight, thought, or touch, the brain sends signals that relax the smooth muscles around the arteries that supply blood to the spongy and cavernous bodies. The veins draining the bodies can't keep up, resulting in swelling. As the swelling reaches the limit of the penile skin, the penis becomes firm. The pressure of the spongy and cavernous bodies against the skin partially closes the veins, helping to maintain the erection. Erection continues until the signals from the brain stop, but erections are not consistent; waking and waning are normal, even during intercourse.

Erection can occur throughout life, happening before birth and into the 90's in healthy men. Nocturnal erections occur during all male dreams (regardless of what the dream is about), unless the man has physical problems (this is the easiest way to determine if impotence is physical or emotional in nature). The so called "morning erection" is the result of being wakened during, or just after a dream; and it can be a very persistent erection. While a morning erection is not a sign of arousal, it's presents and the pleasurable sensations it can create may result in arousal.

Men have only very limited control over their erections. During puberty the young man is often embarrassed by erection in public settings, but he gradually becomes able to suppress erections when the stimulation is mild. Likewise, it is impossible to "will" an erection, although sexual thoughts can cause erection. During prolonged foreplay a man's erection may go away; this is normal, and is not a sign of lessening interest.

General health and physical exhaustion can affect erection; when very tired, a man may be able to have only a partial erection, but still be able to climax. Erection is lost in two stages; the initial stage is very quick, but usually leaves the penis firm enough to continue intercourse. The second stage is somewhat slower and is effected by a variety of things including age (which tends to speed it), and arousal level before climax, with higher (or longer) pre-climax arousal generally resulting in slower lose of erection

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Although the head (or glands) of the penis is very sensitive to touch, touch alone does not bring about an erection. The epicenter responsible for such essential arousal is actually within the brain. Only after the brain receives visual, audio or mentally stimulating input will it transmit (via the central nervous system) instructions to the smooth muscles along the penis to relax. Specifically the release of nitric oxide in the corpora cavernosa relaxes the smooth muscles. At the same time, the artery to the penis widen to twice its diameter, increasing the blood flow sixteen-fold, and the veins which carry blood away from the penis are blocked. As a result, the two spongy-tissue chambers in the shaft of the penis fill with blood and the penis becomes firm. The corpora cavernosa, acting like a sponge, fill with blood. In fact, the corpora absorb up to eight times more blood than when the penis is flaccid. As your penis swells and lengthens, the filled corpora cavernosa press against the veins. The veins surrounding the chambers are squeezed almost completely shut by this pressure. The veins are unable to drain blood out of the penis and so the penis becomes rigid and erect. This condition normally keeps this erection firm enough for intercourse.

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 At this most basic level this function is considered to be normal if a man is able to maintain his erection sufficiently long to engage in satisfying intercourse and the subsequent ejaculation. The length of time a man might stay continuously erect can be on the average be about 30 - 45 minutes. Of course the duration of his erection vary greatly, in which case it may be a shorter or a great deal longer. After ejaculation or cessation of further stimulation to the penis itself or to the brain excess blood will be allowed to drain away, while the level of blood flow into the penis returns to normal. The penis once again becomes flaccid as it loses the built up pressure.

Erectile quality or intensity may depend on the nature in which the brain is stimulated. Acts as simple as kissing or "petting" are at times sufficiently arousing to bring about an erection. Viewing a sexually titillating movie or photographs will arouse most men to erection. Beyond this the particular nature of erotic images will have varying effects, as men tend to have a broad range of sexual tastes and desires. While some men may become highly aroused by mundane stimulation, others thrive on fetishes.

The male libido is often receptive to a great variety of stimulation. To consider a man sexually dysfunctional solely by measuring his arousal during intercourse, with a long term partner, is simply too limited as well as illogical. Certainly there are men who are not only fulfilled, but thrive in life-long monogamous relationships. This confirms the notion that there is great variation between the needs and sensibilities among men. It would be a mistake however to insist that all men can achieve the same purpose, blissfully maintaining a long-term relationship, which is both sexually and emotionally satisfying.

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What if things aren't quite working that way. There are a number of conditions which may diminish or otherwise influence this process, these are known and considered under one very general catch all term: Erectile Dysfunction, which is technically defined as "the inability to achieve or maintain an erection sufficient for sexual intercourse". This is one of the most common sexual ailments in men. Although erectile dysfunction can be primarily psychological in origin, for most men it's more likely a physical disorder, often with some psychological overlay. While some men assume that erectile failure is a natural part of the aging process and tolerate it; others find it devastating. Withdrawal from sexual intimacy because of fear of failure can damage relationships and have a profound effect on overall well being for the couple.

The Massachusetts Male Aging Study measured several health related variables in 1290 men aged 40 to 70 years. Erectile dysfunction was very common. Fifty two per cent of the men reported some degree of impotence-mild in 17.1%, moderate in 25.2%, and complete in 9.6%. Complete impotence was reported by 5% of men at 40 years of age and 15% at 70 years of age.
 

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Over the past decades, the medical perspective on the causes of impotence has shifted. Common wisdom used to attribute almost all cases of impotence to psychological factors. Now investigators estimate that between 70% and 80% of impotence cases are caused by medical problems. It is often difficult to determine if the cause of erectile dysfunction is physical or psychological, or even some combination. The following may be helpful in understanding the difference.
Psychological impotence tends to be abrupt and related to a recent situation. The invidual may be able to have an erection in some circumstances but not in others. The inability to experience or maintain an erection upon waking up in the morning suggests that the problem is physical rather than psychological.
Physical impotence occurs gradually but continuously over a period of time. If impotence persists over a three-month period and is not due to a stressful event, drug use, alcohol, or medical conditions, the individual may needs to seek medical attention from a urologist specializing in impotence.

In virtually every case of impotence, there are emotional issues that can seriously affect the man's self-esteem and relationships, and may even cause or perpetuate erectile dysfunction. Many men tend to fault themselves for their impotence even if it is clearly caused by physical problems over which they have little control.

Anxiety has both emotional and physical consequences that can affect erectile function. It is among the most frequently cited contributors to psychological impotence. Anxiety over sexual performance is often referred to as performance anxiety and may provoke an intense fear of failure and self-doubt. It can sometimes set off a cycle of chronic impotence. In response to anxiety, the brain releases chemicals known as neurotransmitters that constrict the smooth muscles of the penis and its arteries. This constriction reduces the blood flow into and increases the blood flow out of the penis. Simple stress may even promote the release of brain chemicals that negatively affect potency in a similar way.

Depression is strongly associated with erectile dysfunction. In one study, 82% of men who reported moderate to severe erectile dysfunction also had symptoms of depression. Depression can certainly reduce sexual desire, but it is often not clear which condition came first.

Problems in Relationships often have a direct impact on sexual functioning. Partners of men with erectile dysfunction may feel rejected and resentful, particularly if the affected man does not confide his own anxieties or depression. Both partners commonly experience guilt for what they each perceive as a personal failure. Tension and anger frequently arise between people who are unable to discuss sexual or emotional issues with each other. It can be very difficult for the man to perform sexually when both partners harbor negative feelings.

Socioeconomic Issues like losing a job or having lower income or education increases the risk for impotence.

Smoking (particularly heavy) is frequently cited as a contributory factor in the development of impotence.

Alcohol has also been implicated in causing impotence. In small doses, alcohol releases inhibitions, but in doses larger than one drink, it can depress the central nervous system and impair sexual function.

Lack of Frequent Erections deprive the penis of oxygen-rich blood. Without daily erections, collagen production increases and eventually may form a tough tissue that interferes with blood flow. The spontaneous erection men experience while sleeping or awake may be a natural protection against this process.

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The Physical causes of Erectile Dysfunction

Blockage of Blood Vessels The primary cause of oxygen deprivation is ischemia, the blockage of blood vessels. The same conditions that cause blockage in the blood vessels leading to heart problems may also contribute to erectile dysfunction. For example, when cholesterol and other factors are imbalanced, a fatty substance called plaque forms on artery walls. As the plaque builds up, the arterial walls slowly constrict, reducing blood flow. This process, known as arteriosclerosis, is the major contributor to the development of coronary heart disease.

Diabetes may contribute to as many as 40% of impotence cases . Between one third and one half of all diabetic men report some form of sexual difficulty.

High Blood Pressure Erectile dysfunction is more common and more severe in men with hypertension than it is in the general population. Many of the drugs used to treat hypertension are thought to cause impotence as a side effect; in these cases, it is reversible when the drugs are stopped.

Parkinson's Disease As a risk factor for impotence, Parkinson's disease (PD) is an under-appreciated problem. It is estimated that about one-third of men with PD experience impotence.

Multiple Sclerosis affects the central nervous system, also precipitates sexual dysfunction in as many as 78% of males suffering for MS.

Prostate Cancer and its Treatments can damage nerves needed for erectile function.

Radiation the side effects of radiation therapy include most of those of surgery, but the risks for impotence and incontinence are considerably lower.

Medications about a quarter of all cases of impotence can be attributed to medications. Many drugs pose a risk for erectile dysfunction. Among the drugs that are common causes of impotence are the following:
Drugs used in chemotherapy.
Many drugs taken for high blood pressure, particularly diuretics and beta blockers.
Most drugs used for psychological disorders, including anti-anxiety drugs, anti-psychotic drugs, and antidepressants.
 

 

Physical Trauma, Stress or Injury

Injury : spinal cord injury and pelvic trauma, such as a pelvic fracture, can cause nerve damage that results in impotence.

Bicycling : studies have indicated that regular bicycling may pose a risk for erectile dysfunction by reducing blood flow to the penis.

Vasectomy : does not cause erectile dysfunction. When impotence occurs after this procedure, it is often in men whose female partners were unable to accept the operation.

Hormonal Abnormalities : Hypogonadism in men is a deficiency in male hormones, usually due to an abnormality in the testicles, which secrete these hormones. It affects 4 to 5 million men in the United States.

Low Testosterone Levels : only about 5% of men who see a physician about erectile dysfunction have low levels of testosterone, the primary male hormone. In general, lower testosterone levels appear to reduce sexual interest, not cause impotence. A 1999 study, however, suggests that testosterone levels are not an accurate reflection of sexual drive.

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 Lifestyle changes to help prevent Erectile Dysfunction

 
Maintain General Health : Because many cases of impotence are due to reduced blood flow from blocked arteries, it is important to maintain the same lifestyle habits as those who face an increased risk for heart disease.

Diet : Everyone should eat a diet rich in fresh fruits and vegetables, whole grains, and fiber and low in saturated fats and sodium. Because erectile dysfunction is often related to circulation problems, diets that benefit the heart are especially important.

Exercise : A regular exercise program is extremely important. One study reported that older men who ran 40 miles a week boosted their testosterone levels by 25% compared to their inactive peers. Another study found that men who burned 200 calories or more a day in physical activity (which can be achieved by two miles of brisk walking) cut their risk of erectile dysfunction by half compared to men who did not exercise.

Limit Alcohol and Quitting Smoking : Men who drink alcohol should do so in moderation. Quitting smoking is essential.

Stay Sexually Active : Staying sexually active can help prevent impotence. Frequent erections stimulate blood flow to the penis. It may be helpful to note that erections are firmest during deep sleep right before waking up. Autumn is the time of the year when male hormone levels are highest and sexual activity is most frequent.

Kegel Exercises : The Kegel exercise is a simple exercise commonly used by people who have urinary incontinence and by pregnant women. It may also be helpful for men whose erectile dysfunction is caused by impaired blood circulation. The exercises consist of tightening and releasing the pelvic muscle that controls urination

Changing or Reducing Medications : If medications are causing impotence, the patient and physician should discuss alternatives or reduced dosages.

Psychotherapy and Behavioral Therapy Interpersonal, supportive, or behavioral therapy can be of help to a patient during all phases of the decision-making process regarding possible methods of treatment. Therapy may also ease the adjustment period after the initiation or completion of treatment. It is beneficial to have the partner involved in this process. The value of sex therapy is questionable. In one study, 12 out of 20 men whose dysfunction had a psychological basis and who were advised to enter a sex clinic resisted sex therapy out of embarrassment or because they felt it wouldn't help. Of the eight who entered therapy, only one actually achieved satisfactory sex.


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                                                                 Treatment with medication

 Viagra : is now prescribed in over 90% of erectile dysfunction cases. Studies indicate that it helps 70% of patients achieve sexual function. In one 1999 study, overall male satisfaction was 65%. Not surprisingly, the best results occurred in men who had the fewest sexual problems before treatment, but even men with severe erectile dysfunction had a 41% satisfaction rate. A 2000 study of men who had responded well initially to sildenafil found that 96% of them were satisfied with the treatment after two to three years.

Administration and Effect Sildenafil is effective within 20 to 40 minutes. The drug works only when the man experiences some sexual arousal.

Mechanism of Actions Sildenafil was originally developed for heart disease, but was found to have a unique mechanism of action that targeted only factors in the penis. The drug blocks the enzyme phosphodiesterase. This action maintains persistent levels of cyclic GMP, a chemical that is produced in the penis during sexual arousal and which is the primary chemical that relaxes smooth muscles and increases blood flow.

Common Side Effects Common side effects include the following:

1. Flushing.
2. Muscle aches.
3. Gastrointestinal distress.
4. Headache.
5. Nasal congestion.

Cialis : is a potent and highly-selective PDE5 inhibitor and may not affect other parts of the body, including the brain, heart, kidney and eyes. Clinical trials are reporting significant success rates in up to 88% of patients. It appears to take effect in 15 minutes and the effects last up to 24 hours. Improved results were reported in men suffering from erectile dysfunction of varying severity and causes. Common side effects include headache, muscle pain, stomach upset following meals, and back pain.

Vardenafil : is another PDE5 inhibitor currently being investigated. A small study concluded that it increased penile rigidity and tumescence. Further evaluation is warranted.
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                                     Testosterone Replacement Therapy

Testosterone replacement therapy may be effective in inducing puberty in adolescent boys with hypogonadism and may also be helpful for some adult patients with the condition. Some experts believe testosterone replacement therapy also may be helpful for older men whose testosterone levels are deficient.

                                                    Other procedures and devices

Vacuum Devices : Vacuum devices, or external management systems, are effective, safe, and simple to use for all forms of impotence except when severe scarring has occurred from Peyronie's disease.

Using the Device
The man places the penis inside a plastic cylinder.
A vacuum is created, which causes blood to flow into the penis, thereby creating an erection.
A band is tightly secured around the base of the penis, which retains the erection, and the cylinder is removed.
It takes about three to five minutes to produce an erection.

Drawback: Lack of spontaneity is this method's only major drawback. The erection involves only part of the penis shaft, and the process will certainly seem peculiar in the beginning. When these psychological obstacles are overcome, many couples find the result highly satisfactory.

Success rate: Studies have found that success with the vacuum device is equal to other methods. Between 56% and 67% of men using it reported the device to be effective. In one study of men who had used the vacuum device for many years, almost 79% reported improvement in their relationships with their sexual partners, and 83.5% said they had intercourse whenever they chose. Nevertheless, drop out rates are high. In one 1999 study, for example, the overall drop out rate was 65%.

Side effects: include blocked ejaculation and some discomfort during pumping and from use of the band. Minor bruising may occur, although infrequently. It is very important to use a medically approved pump.

  

Venous Flow Controllers (Cock rings) : Vacuumless devices that trap blood within the penis are also available. They are called venous flow controllers or simple constricting devices. These devices are typically rubber or silicone rings or tubes that are placed at the base of the erect penis to trap the erection. They can be used by men who can achieve erections but lose them easily. These devices should not be used for longer than 30 minutes or lack of oxygen can damage the penis.

Penile Implants
Three types of surgical implants are currently being used for the treatment of erectile dysfunction:
A hydraulic implant consists of two cylinders placed within the erection chambers of the penis and a pump. The pump releases a saline solution into the chambers to cause an erection, and removes the solution to deflate the erection.
A penile prosthesis is composed of two semi-rigid but bendable rods that are placed inside the erection chambers of the penis. The penis can then be manipulated to an erect or non-erect position.
A third implant uses interlocking soft plastic blocks that can be inflated or deflated using a cable that passes through them.

Other alternative treatments

Many alternative agents are marketed for impotence. Very few have been studied and some can be harmful.

Yohimbine (Yocon, Yohimex) has been used as folk medicine for years. It appears to improve blood flow. Studies have been inconclusive about its benefits.

Aphrodisiacs -Aphrodisiacs are substances that are supposed to increase sexual drive, performance, or desire. Some examples include the following:
Viramax is a well-marketed product that contains Yohimbine and three herbal aphrodisiacs: Catuaba, Muira puama, and Maca. It has not been proven to be either effective or safe and interactions with medications are unknown.
Foods that some people claim have aphrodisiacal qualities include chilies, chocolate, licorice, lard, scallops, oysters, olives, and anchovies. No evidence exists for these claims and certainly no one would ever advocate eating large amounts of such foods, which in cases such as licorice and lard, can be dangerous.
Spanish fly, or cantharides, which is made from dried beetles, is the most widely-touted aphrodisiac and is particularly harmful. It irritates the urinary and genital tract and can cause infection, scarring, and burning of the mouth and throat. In some cases, it can be life threatening.

No one should try any aphrodisiac without consulting a physician.

Still other alternative remedies

In one small study, 78% of men who had impotence caused by impaired blood flow regained erections after taking ginkgo. More research is needed.

Ginseng root is a traditional Asian remedy for stimulating sexual function, although no studies have been conducted on its effectiveness.

Sacred Spot Massage (Only For Men's Health)

The G-Spot or Sacred Spot of a man is his prostate gland. Tantric philosophy considers the G-Spot a man's emotional sex center. Massaging the man's prostate releases tremendous amounts of emotional and physical stress. Coupled with stimulation of his penis or "lingam", massaging his prostate can be extremely pleasurable and healing to the man. Since the most direct way to massage the man's Sacred Spot is through his anus, it takes time to adjust to being penetrated in this way. It is not for every man. The benefits are many and the pleasure can be very intense. For tantric partners, lovers or those otherwise genuinely comfortable with one another, massaging the sacred spot can be a powerful experience. Not only in terms of ecstatic pleasure for the "receiver", but in the sexual empowerment it bestows on the "giver".


The walnut sized prostate gland is located directly underneath the bladder, not far from the internal root of the penis (see diagram). As can be seen, the gland is in close proximity to the rectal wall, allowing for easy access through the anus.

Why is prostate massage pleasurable? There are number of reasons:

Ejaculation reflex sensation

No matter which method is used it is not possible to touch the prostate directly. The nearest indirect access is through the rectal wall, which means that there is still a membrane in the way. This is somewhat akin to the inhibiting sensitivity a glove. Despite this restriction the lobes of the prostrate are highly sensitive to pressure. An array of sensations may be produced by pressing, rubbing or by means of stroking the gland through the rectal wall. The most profound of these feelings is similar to that sublime sensation which is normally felt during ejaculation, as the prostate begins pumping semen.

Anal sensitivity

Along with the genital areas, the anus is connected to and interwoven with millions of delicately sensitive nerve endings, which can yield most pleasurable sensations.

Hidden penis

Unknown to most, over one third of the penis is buried inside the body. It is the base of the (hidden) penis which may be pressured in a similar manner as the prostate. The effect of stimulating all three can be awesome, if done in concert with genital stimulation. Still more overwhelming than the physiological effects is the psychological aspect of prostate massage, due to the unaccustomed nature of penetration of the receiver.

Psychological high

As powerful as physiological stimulation might be, it pales when compared to the immeasurably greater psychological or mental high. The very notion of the male placing himself into such a vulnerable position, results in a powerful mental rush, for both receiver as well giver. The willingness of the naturally controlling male to allow himself to placed in an unaccustomed submissive role, should be particularly cherished by the giver.

Preparation

As in any intimate activity, certain basic rules apply. The receiver should be meticulously clean. The giver should have available form fitting latex surgical gloves (not the loose fitting variety). It's desirable for a number of reasons to use gloves, of which the first and foremost benefit is to protect the delicate anal membranes from sharp fingernails and rough skin. Secondly, a well lubricated rubber surface will glide more easily than naked skin. Lubrication should be water based, such as K-Y jelly.

Taking a hot bath or shower prior to the massage is a good way to relax. While bathing the receiver will find it pleasurable to begin to fanaticize in anticipation of the experience to come.

Positions

Face to face (for greater intimacy)

While completely naked, the receiver should assume a seated position; his back reclined and supported by large firm pillows (at about a 45 - 65 degree angle). His knees pulled in the direction of his chest and somewhat angled outward. The resulting position should be both comfortable for the receiver, as well as allowing the giver unobstructed view and unfettered access to the anus and genitals of the receiver. The giver may sit cross legged, or kneel in front of the receiver.

As a way to relax the receiver, the giver may begin by massaging the receivers lower extremities, particularly the abdomen. Initially, the receiver may choose to relax by closing his eyes, but as the massage progresses it is of great importance that the receiver and giver maintain eye contact.

It will be up to the giver to decide when the receiver is sufficiently relaxed and aroused. At this time the giver should unobtrusively slip on a glove and to begin lubricating the receivers anus. The lubrication process should be lengthy and ceremonial. Beginning with circular motions, stroking the anal opening. The objective is to pleasure and relax the nervous rosebud.

The giver should "never" poke the anus with the tip of the finger, but to gently and firmly apply pressure with the pad of the finger. Continuously add lubrication; there can never be too much lubrication! When the anus is ready it will allow the finger to enter. All that is needed is time and patience.

Remarkably, when the moment comes the giver will notice that the finger will seem to be drawn into the anus. Once the finger has been allowed to enter it is best to be still allowing the anal sphincters the chance to become accustomed to the intrusion. It will not be a good idea for the giver to move their finger in and out of the anus. There should only be one reason for the giver to remove the finger, and this would be to add more lubrication.

The giver is now ready to seek out the prostate: this can easily accomplished by crooking the inserted finger upwards, and feeling for a "roundish" to oblong protrusion about 2 inches inside the rectum. Applying pressure to the prostate will provide a variety of sensations, the most desirable of which is the feeling of impending ejaculation. By applying more or less pressure to the gland, the giver will be able to control these sensations; even to the point of inhibiting the receiver from ejaculating. The ability to control ejaculation through prostate massage, allows for nearly unending stimulation of the receiver's genitals. The penis may be massaged by the giver, or by receiver himself, to a point of near ejaculation. Only to be kept on the brink by varying pressure on the prostate.

During the arousal cycle the giver may begin to rhythmically move the inserted finger partially in and out, so as to stimulate the rich and super sensitive nerve endings around the anus.

Eye contact is most desirable at the resolution phase of the experience, with the receiver and giver gazing into one another's eyes… various scenarios are now possible:

A. The giver will allow the receiver to masturbate himself to achieve ejaculating. All the while the giver will be verbally encouraging the receiver to the moment of climax.

B. The giver may masturbate the receiver's penis with one hand, while massaging the receivers anal opening or prostate with the other. Both giver and receiver should communicate intently, so as to allow the greatest pleasure for the receiver.

C. The receiver may desire for the giver to “milk” his prostate, without direct stimulation to the penis. To achieve this the giver will gently stroke each lobe, resulting in a gentle flow of semen and the emptying of the prostate through the erect or flaccid penis.



Facing "away" from the giver (a magnificent view for the giver)
In this position the receiver will be kneeling, knees apart, buttocks elevated, while the elbows are resting on a firm surface, such as a cushioned floor matt. This should be both a stable and comfortable position for the receiver.

The giver may kneel or sit spread legged behind the receiver, having easy access and a perfect view, of the receiver's anus. The giver will also be in a position to reach between the receivers legs to allow stimulation of the genitals.

From this point please follow the same procedure as in the face to face method.

Massage Spa /Bath Ceremony

Imagine yourself being disrobed within the soft glow of scented candlelight; helped into a rose petal covered bath. To relax in place where your Tantrica will soothe and lavish the most careful attention upon every inch of your aching body. Particularly those often neglected areas will be lovingly attended to.




Using a variety of soaps, scented oils and sponges your body will be caressed and relaxed. Soft hands and adept fingers will move about and caress every minute part of your physical being, massaging your head and temples, neck, shoulders, ever further down to your most sensitive area. Even your feet and toes will not escape attention.

The warm water will melt away your stress and relieve your anxiety. In time you will begin to think only of the sacred space you and your Tantrica will soon be sharing. You will begin to feel reborn...as your newly invigorated body is gently dried with fluffy warm towels, knowing that you are only beginning your adventure.

Yoni Massage

Yoni is the Sanskrit word for the vagina that is loosely translated as "sacred space" or "Sacred Temple." In Tantra, the Yoni is seen from a perspective of love and respect. This is particularly important for men to learn.

Before beginning the Yoni Massage it is important to create a space for the woman (the receiver) in which to relax, from which she can more easily enter a state of high arousal and experience great pleasure from her Yoni. Her partner (the giver) will experience the joy of giving pleasure and witnessing a special moment. The Yoni Massage can also be used as a form of "safe sex" and is an excellent activity to build trust and intimacy. Some massage and sex therapists use it to assist women to break through sexual blocks or trauma.

The goal of the Yoni massage is not solely to achieve orgasm, although orgasm is often a pleasant and welcome side effect. The goal can be as simple as to pleasure and massage the Yoni. From this perspective both receiver and giver can relax, and do not have to worry about achieving any particular goal. When orgasm does occur it is usually more expanded, more intense and more satisfying. It is also helpful for the giver to not expect anything in return, but simply allow the receiver to enjoy the massage and to relax into herself.

The Massage

Have the receiver lie on her back with pillows under her head so she can look down at her genitals and up at her partner (giver). Place a pillow, covered with a towel, under her hips. Her legs are to be spread apart with the knees slightly bent (pillows or cushions under the knees will also help) and her genitals clearly exposed for the massage. This position allows full access to the Yoni and other parts of the body. Before contacting the body, begin with deep, relaxed breathing. Both giver and receiver should remember to breathe deeply, slowly and with relaxation during the entire process. The giver will gently remind the receiver to start breathing again if the receiver stops or begins to take shallower breaths. Deep breathing, not hyperventilating, is most important.

Gently massage the legs, abdomen, thighs, breasts, etc., to encourage the receiver to relax and for the giver to prepare for touching her Yoni. Pour a small quantity of a high-quality oil or lubricant on the mound of the Yoni. Pour just enough so that it drips down the outer lips and covers the outside of the Yoni. Begin gently massaging the mound and outer lips of the Yoni. Spend time here and do not rush. Relax and enjoy giving the massage.



Gently squeeze the outer lip between the thumb and index finger, and slide up and down the entire length of each lip. Do the same to the inner lips of the Yoni/vagina. Take your time. It is helpful for giver and receiver to look into each other's eyes as much as possible. The receiver should tell the giver if the pressure, speed, depth, etc. need to be increased or decreased. Limit your conversation and focus on the pleasurable sensation, too much talking will diminish the effect.
 
 
The Crown Jewel

The clitoris is an amazingly complex structure, similar in function to the male's glans, but surprisingly - up to four times more sensitive. The glans portion of the clitoris holds 6,000 - 8,000 sensory nerve endings, more than any other structure in the human body. This hypersensitive node has only one purpose: pleasure. Nothing exceeds its ability to receive and transmit sensations of touch, pressure or vibration. The glans are the "crown jewel" of the clitoral system!

Stroke the clitoris with clockwise and counter-clockwise circles. Gently squeeze it between thumb and index fingers. Do this as a massage and not to get the receiver off. The receiver will undoubtedly become very aroused but continue to encourage her to relax and breathe.


Slowly and with great care, insert the middle finger of your right hand into the Yoni (there is a reason for using the right hand as opposed to the left. It has to do with polarity in Tantra). Very gently explore and massage the inside of the Yoni with this finger. Take your time, be gentle, and feel up, down and sideways. Vary the depth, speed and pressure. It is important to remember that this is a massage in which you are nurturing and relaxing the Yoni. With your palm facing up, and the middle finger inside the Yoni, move the middle finger in a "come here" gesture or crook back towards the palm. You will contact a spongy area of tissue just under the pubic bone, behind the clitoris. This is the G-spot or in Tantra, "the sacred spot". She may feel the need to urinate, experience a little discomfort or most hopefully pleasure. Vary the pressure, speed and pattern of movement. You can move side to side, back and forth, or in circles with your middle finger. You can also insert the finger that's between your middle finger and pinky.
 

 

Most women should have no problem and will enjoy the increased stimulation from two fingers. Take your time and be very gentle. You may use the thumb of the right hand to stimulate the clitoris as well. An option to try if the receiver wants it is to insert the pinky of the right hand into her anus. [In Tantra, it is said that when your pinky is gently massaging her anus, the next finger and middle finger in her Yoni and your thumb on her clitoris, "You are holding one of the mysteries of the universe in your hand."]
 
 

You can use your left hand to massage her breasts, abdomen, or clitoris. If you massage the clitoris it's usually best to use the thumb in an up down motion, with the rest of the hand resting on, and massaging the mound. The dual stimulation of right and left hands will provide much pleasure for the receiver. Continue massaging, using varying speed, pressure and motion, all the while continuing to breathe deeply and looking into each other's eyes. She may have powerful emotions come up and may cry. Just keep breathing and be gentle. Some women have been sexually abused and need to be healed. A giving, loving and patient partner can be of immeasurable value to her. If she has an orgasm, keep her breathing, and continue massaging if she wants. More orgasms may occur, each gaining in intensity. In Tantra this is called "riding the wave."
 

In ending the massage, slowly, gently, and with respect, remove your hands. Allow her to relax and enjoy the afterglow of the Yoni massage. Cuddling or holding is very soothing as well. As you learn to master the Yoni Massage your sex life will be greatly enriched and you will learn a great deal about feminine sexuality.

Yoni Picture

Although the Yoni appears in many forms, colors and sizes these images are just one example of its often under appreciated delicate beauty. To enlarge please click on each particular image.

We gratefully acknowledge the artistry of Bob Thornberg  for these exquisite creations.

Lingam massage

The Sanskrit word for the male sexual organ is Lingam and is loosely translated as "Wand of Light." In Tantra or Sacred Sexuality, the Lingam is respectfully viewed and honored, as a "Wand of Light" that channels creative energy and pleasure.



Orgasm is not the goal of the Lingam massage although it can be a pleasant and welcome side effect. The goal is to massage the Lingam, also including testicles, perineum and Sacred Spot (prostate) externally, allowing the man to surrender to a form of pleasure he may not be accustomed to. From this perspective both receiver and giver relax into the massage.



Men need to learn to relax and receive. Traditional sexual conditioning has the man in a doing and goal oriented mode. The Lingam Massage allows the man to experience his softer, more receptive side and experience pleasure from a non-traditional perspective.

Beginning the Massage

Have the receiver lie on his back with pillows under his head so he can look up at his partner (giver). Place a pillow, covered with a towel, under his hips. His legs are to be spread apart with the knees slightly bent (pillows or cushions under the knees will also help) and his genitals clearly exposed for the massage. Before contacting the body, begin with deep, relaxed breathing. Gently massage the legs, abdomen, thighs, chest, nipples, etc., to get the receiver to relax. Remind the receiver to breathe deeply and to sink deeper into relaxation.

Pour a small quantity of oil on the shaft of the Lingam and testicles. Begin gently massaging the testicles, taking care to not cause pain in this sensitive area. Massage the scrotum gently, causing it to relax. Massage the area above the Lingam, on the pubic bone. Massage the Perineum, the area between the testicles and anus. Take time when massaging the shaft of the Lingam. Vary the speed and pressure. Gently squeeze the Lingam at the base with your right hand, pull up and slide off, then alternate with your left hand. Take your time doing this, right, left, right, left, etc. Then, change the direction by starting the squeeze at the head of the Lingam and then sliding down and off. Again, alternate with right and left hands.

Massage the head of the Lingam as if you are using an orange juicer. Massage all around the head and shaft. In Tantra there are many nerve endings on the Lingam that correspond to other parts of the body. It is believed that many ailments may be cured by a good Lingam massage. The Lingam may or may not go soft as you perform this technique. Do not worry if it doesn't get hard again. You will probably find that it will get hard, then go soft, get hard again, etc., which is a highly desirable Tantric experience, like riding a wave, bobbing up and down. Hardness and softness are two ends of the pleasure spectrum.

If it appears that the receiver is going to ejaculate, back off, allowing the Lingam to soften a little before resuming the massage. Do this several times, coming close to ejaculation, and then backing off. It is important to remember that the goal is not orgasm in and of itself. Men can learn the art of ejaculatory mastery and control by coming close to ejaculation and then backing off on the stimulation. Deep breathing is key here and will soften the urge to ejaculate. Eventually ejaculatory mastery will allow you to make love as long as you want and you can become multi-orgasmic without losing a drop of semen. Orgasm and ejaculation are two different responses that you can learn to separate. The result is a very expanded sex life.
 
The Sacred Spot
 
Find and massage the male Sacred Spot. There is a small indentation about the size of a pea or maybe larger midway between the testicles and anus. Be gentle and push inward. He will feel the pressure deep inside and it may be uncomfortable at first. Eventually, as this area is worked on and softened, he will be able to expand his orgasms and master ejaculatory control. You can massage his Lingam with your right hand and massage his Sacred Spot with your left hand.

 

Try pushing in on this spot when he nears ejaculation. The man may have strong emotions come up during access to the Sacred Spot. Be the best friend and healer he could have in that moment. You, the giver, are creating a place of trust and intimacy.

Ending the Massage

When he feels complete (with the massage), gently remove your hands cover him and keep him warm. Most importantly, allow him to rest quietly for at least five to ten minutes.

Tantric massage

The Tantric massage will make you feel as if you are in a trance, where physical boundaries dissolve, time disappears, worries and problems no longer seem important, or are forgotten altogether.


We will begin by having you recline on your back with pillows under your head and a towel covered pillow supporting your hips. Your legs will be slightly apart, your knees just a little bent. Your abdomen, thighs, feet, toes, chest, nipples and fingers are then gently massaged with warm aromatic oil. Nothing will escape attention. Your energy flow is stimulated and senses awakened as your body's sensitivity increases. According to Tantric ideals, your entire body will be massaged, including those particularly sensitive areas [for a more detailed explanation, click on "Lingam" or "Yoni" massage below].

Perceptions of sensuality and lust are located here, but these "intimate" areas are an important source of joy in life. You will feel relaxed, yet wide awake. You will be coached to breathe properly, as you sink into yet deeper level of relaxation. In this very loving ceremony you will be completely nurtured and pampered in the arms of your goddess, giving you a feeling of comfort and sense of well-being.

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Nature of Female Orgasm

Thanks to the Internet there are literally volumes of information to be found on this subject. Those interested in furthering their knowledge will find many valuable resources online. Surprisingly not only men, but also more than a few women don't completely understand or appreciate the process. This circumstance should be of little surprise to anyone considering that there has been, and continues to be a good deal of disagreement even among "experts" on the subject of female orgasm.



The questions are innumerable... How does it happen? Is every woman able to have this experience? What does climax feel like? Are there variations of orgasm? Why does it take longer for females to achieve climax?


What happens during climax


After a woman becomes sexually aroused, her heart beats faster while her breathing quickens. Often, she'll tighten various muscles all over her body. Her breasts usually enlarge somewhat, the nipples tend to stand out while the areolas become noticeably enlarged. Some women flush red on their face, neck and chest. The visible part of the clitoris also swells slightly.


Secretions occur inside and at the opening of the vagina. Her labia flatten and open. The vagina lengthens and widens internally, changing what was a potential space into more of an actual space. These vaginal changes are mainly a result of a rush of blood to the pelvic area -- called engorgement -- which provides a generally pleasurable warmth in a female's genital area.


As her arousal increases, so does engorgement as well as most of the changes mentioned above becoming more pronounced. The one area that doesn't follow this pattern is the clitoris. Instead of continually swelling, it actually begins to retract under the clitoral hood and decreases in length by about 50%. This is a sign that orgasm is imminent for most women, as long as optimal stimulation continues.

She orgasm itself begins with strong muscle contractions. These contractions can be finished within four seconds or last up to about 15 seconds. They tend to occur at intervals of 0.8 seconds. Also, the inner two-thirds of the vagina usually open up even more, while the uterus contracts.



During orgasm, skin flushing generally reaches its maximum. Muscles may keep contracting, while blood pressure, heart rate and respiratory rate continue to rise. Some women make sounds reflecting the pleasure they are experiencing.


Signs confirming orgasm       

Rhythmic muscle contractions occur in the outer third of the vagina, the uterus and anus. The first muscle contractions are the most intense, and occur at a rate of about 1 per second. As the orgasm continues, the contractions become less intense and occur at a more random rate.


A mild orgasm may have 3 -5 contractions, an intense orgasm 10 -15.                                       

The "sex flush" (redness) becomes even more pronounced and may cover a greater percentage of the body.


Muscles throughout the body may contract during orgasm, not just those in the pelvic area.


Some women will emit or spray some fluid from their urethra during orgasm. This is often called female ejaculation.

A woman's facial expression may indicate that she is in pain when she is having a pleasurable orgasm.


At the peak of orgasm the entire body may become momentarily rigid.


What does orgasm feel like?


Women who have never experienced orgasm, and women who are not sure if they have, often ask, "What does an orgasm feel like?" This is a hard, if not impossible, question to answer. Imagine trying to explain to someone what it feels like to sneeze or yawn. Not easy to do. How our senses and brain interpret physical stimuli is subjective, that is dependent solely on the individual's perceptions. Subjective reports frequently mention a sensation of tingling in the spine, brain, and genital areas. While some women relay an experience being on the verge of passing out, others report a level of enjoyment only somewhat less than that of "the earth moving". If a woman has experienced some form of nerve damage, she may not be able to tell if she has had an orgasm.


Female sensual receptors

Although it's true that the entire body is in some way involved during climax, the key sensual receptor will always be the clitoris. Without engaging the "clit" directly or indirectly, there can be no prospect of orgasm. It seems difficult, particularly for men to understand that something as diminutive as the clit could be so vitally important. How could this tiny, almost external appendage be infinitely more sensitive than the vagina itself?

Intuition would make you believe that the lining or walls of the vagina are somehow more akin to the tip penis. Following that logic these two matching surfaces would engage one another during intercourse... resulting in ultimate mutual pleasure, physically and emotionally. Yet for some reason mother nature has played a trick. During intercourse primarily the emotional element comes into play, as the female creates a physical union with male.


There is a simple but not necessarily well known explanation for this circumstance. Unlike the glands of the penis, the vagina has relatively few sensual receptors. Ironically, the deeper the penetration, the fewer the receptors. The relatively few nerve receptors which do exist in the vagina are actually located to the upper third; which in many women may be only marginally sensitive at best.

For a woman to achieve climax the clit must be stimulated in some fashion. This can be accomplished in two ways, directly or indirectly. With the indirect method the males pubic bone may push up against the clit while thrusting during intercourse. Or the penis may rub against the vulva, which because of its proximity to the clit, may result in indirect stimulation. Considering these circumstances it should be evident that indirect stimulation of the clit is not very efficient. It's actually a testimonial to the clit's remarkable sensitivity that indirect stimulation is even sufficient to produce climax for about 30 - 40% of women. Depending on the result of any particular survey.

By most accounts the clit is the counterpart of the tip or "glans" of the penis, with three primary differences: a) the urethra does not pass though the clit. b) it's smaller in size. 3) it's significantly more sensitive due to the greater number of nerve receptors (per square inch) than those found on the glans of the penis.

In this case it should be fair to assume that it's not possible for the majority of women to reach climax solely as a result of intercourse in the missionary position (face to face).

What might be the alternative?

Any position which allows the male partner easy and unrestricted access to the clit. For example: with the male laying on his back, and the female straddling his waist (facing him). In this position it's easily possible for the female to engage in thrusting, while allowing the male to directly stimulate her clit with his fingers.

Another alternative... more secure couples may decide to engage in intercourse with the male entering from the rear. With the female positioned in a forward kneeling position, she would have one hand free. This would allow her to stroke her clit to the point of full climax in concert with the thrusting action of her partner. The Application of this technique may make it possible for the couple to coordinate their efforts of reaching that elusive and highly prized "simultaneous" orgasm.